Kindness: A Dying Art

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What is your superpower? Is it love, prayer, self-confidence, intellect, talents, never give up attitude, self-affirmation or anything that lifts your spirit? Name it. To me ‘kindness’ is the number one quality to look for in a person. Kindness is a universal language of love the deaf can hear and the blind can see.

Many arts have become a rarity. Chivalry, kindness, mindful conversation, courtesy, handwritten letter, treating people well can be the dying arts. We are more concerned about the endangered species rather than these endangered arts so much needed in our daily life. What the world needs today is a new kind of army; the army of Kindness. We need to go beyond fighting for territorial boundaries of our country and start fighting the real inward enemy such as stress, intolerance, anxiety, depression, loneliness, insecurity, jealousy, hatred, and greed. We should look out for each other and not just people close to us. Anybody who needs a helping hand is our neighbour. There are needs all around us. 

All we need to do is slow down and pay attention to those needs of a lonely person, a friend going through depression, a colleague about to quit, a single parent, a sick person, someone who lost their loved ones. They all need words of encouragement, a listening ear, accompaniment, and moral support. If you ever have the opportunity to do something awesome for someone else, do it even if it does not benefit you in any way. You never knew you may even be saving a life. Never miss the opportunity to help another human being. A person’s most valuable asset is not a brain loaded with knowledge but a heart full of love with patient ears to listen and hands willing to help. Being able to help should be considered a privilege rather than a burden.

Kindness is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of a person who has done a lot of personal work and has come to great self-realization, understanding, and wisdom. It gives hope to those who think they are all alone. Accomplishment alone does not make us a better person. We may be highly qualified and could be experts in many fields. Yet, our greatness will be measured by kindness, intellect, and education by modesty and real caliber by consideration and toleration for others.

Be kind whenever possible. If you are a teacher, your words can be meaningful. But if you are a compassionate teacher, there can be a positive transformation through your teaching. If you are a doctor, you can do some service. But if you are a caring doctor, you can impact your community. Whatever profession you are in, do not just be another human being. Be a singer, a writer, an artist, a designer, an engineer with a difference. 

There can be three types of people: givers, takers, and matchers. Givers give more than they get. They are other-focused and pay attention to their needs. Takers like receiving more than giving. They put their own interests ahead of others. Takers will help only if it benefits them. Matchers operate on a principle called fairness: ‘I’ll help you if you help me. I’ll give you only if you give me.’ The ultimate winner is the Giver. They go out of their way to help others.

Humanity has evolved and can be said to have reached the peak of its civilization. But what we call civilization can also be a threat to humanity. We have become educated but have not become humane. We have conquered almost everything, the highest, the deepest and the greatest, but have not conquered our own ego, hatred, greed, intolerance, and selfishness. We have enough smart and educated derelicts. What we need is more of a kind and compassionate people. We don’t need more degrees, technologies, inventions, scientific researches, space missions. They always come with dire consequences. More importantly, we should learn to be humane again.

Who will change the world: the rich, the good and the concerned? The silence of good people hurts. Dante Alighieri rightly observed, “The worst places in hell are reserved for those who maintain their neutrality in a period of moral crisis.” Hands that help are holier than lips that pray. What is the point of caring if we do not do anything about it? The cheapest thing in the world is a piece of advice and the most expensive thing is help. In the words of Audrey Hepburn, “Nothing is more important than empathy for another human being’s suffering. Not career, not wealth, not intelligence and certainly not status. 

We all have to feel for one other if we are going to survive with dignity.” Each of us is partly responsible for nearly everything negative that is going on in the world. We keep blaming others for our own wrongdoings. We blame the government, the bank, the media, and the elite. But we forget that we are the creators and supporters of all the above. Wars happen because we are not courageous enough to love each other. The poor, the greedy, the criminals are the consequences of our competitive spirit and corrupt minds.

Aren’t Christians supposed to be the kindest, warmest, most helpful and most loving people on earth? Caring for each other is not so visible anymore. We are extremely busy running the rat race. We do not have time to look out for each other. How can we be not in grief seeing another human suffering? We will not be judged by how we treat the rich, the powerful and the privileged and certainly not by our technology or intellect, but ultimately by how we treat the poor, the needy, the neglected, the condemned and the forgotten. How you treat an inferior will say a lot about one’s character.

To make a difference in someone’s life, you don’t have to be rich, smart or talented. You just have to care. The best way to ease someone’s pain is empathy. People start to heal the moment they feel heard. If you are in a position to help someone, extend your help because you could be the only one who reaches out in their times of need. The strongest people make time to help others even if they are struggling with their own personal demons.

We all have many people in our life. But the one who notices the storms in your eyes, the silence in your voice and the heaviness in your heart are the ones you need to let in and treasure them. You may forget those who laugh together with you, but you will never forget those who stood by your side in your darkest hours and the ones who wept with you. When you find such people, hold onto them and never let them go.

The desperate need of man today is not a new vaccine, a new religion or a new way of life. Man does not need to go to the moon or other solar systems. We do not need bigger bombs and missiles. We do not need to spend millions on the research of destruction. Our real need is ‘Healing.’ We need to heal ourselves from anger, hatred, self-centeredness, greed, jealousy, pride, selfishness, and other evil desires. We have the best of everything, the best minds, and the best technologies. Are we headed towards destruction or a peaceful world? We need them but it is not the one size fit all solution. Love is the ultimate solution and the most powerful force that can heal our dying and broken world. We all have the capacity to love. 

It is time we unite our hearts and minds to use this superpower. It starts with me and you. It is time we rethink everything we do, think and plan. We need to ask ourselves, ‘Am I being kinder, more caring and more compassionate’ instead of worrying only about having a better house, appearance, job, car, etc. Also, ask what are you doing to help the person next to you? Do you wake up each day to help change a life? Whose life are you impacting? The bottom line is, “We are nothing without love.” The Bible clearly states it in Paul’s letter to Corinthians.

Manikho Komona

This article first appeared in NagaDao (2019), an annual publication of Naga Students' Union, Delhi (NSUD).